Trust in a relationship is said to be the foundation of every relationship because without it the relationship is will be doomed. In a relationship trust is a deep connection that needs to be built in order for the relationship to grow into a strong healthy bond.
Trust is mutual respect for each other so both people can be together without being afraid of judgment. The hardest part about being in a relationship is gaining and maintaining trust. So, building that right from the start is so important right from the start.
Trust is not something given right off the bat it is earned over time, but you have to start somewhere. If you are constantly in a place of doubt and insecurity in a relationship it is going to reflect in how you act in a relationship. So, what do you do when you want to build trust? You build it from the ground up.
10 Ways to Build Trust in a Relationship
Honesty is the best policy
Don’t keep secrets! When building trust in a relationship between you and your partner being transparent is crucial. When you are honest and have honest conversations you both benefit. You get to share and the other one develops understanding and respect for you. No one wants to feel that feeling of doubt and secrecy because all that does is compromise the relationship.
Keeping secrets is the fastest way to ruin any relationship really quickly so it is very important to be upfront and honest whenever issues come up. Whether it is issued that you are facing together or individually. I know many people have trust issues including myself, but if you practice keeping an open mind and listening to your partner will be more open about their secrets.
Respect each other
It sounds like an easy task and you hear it all the time “treat others with respect and others will respect you.” However, when you’re in a relationship that can go out the window in the midst of a heated argument. When you start to belittle and criticize your partner it will chip away whatever trust they had. Over an extended period of time, this can make rebuilding that trust almost impossible.
The best way to avoid this is to set up rules for arguments. I know it sounds silly because when you are in the heat of the moment it is easy to lose control. You both have to set up boundaries of what can be said during an argument. For example, if that’s name-calling, calling each other crazy, cursing each other out, or at times throwing things. Identify them at a time when you are not arguing so if you do get into an argument everyone knows the rules.
Respect goes both ways so if you want to be respected by your partner you have to respect them as they are as well.
Communication is a very important factor in building trust in a relationship. Instead of sitting around analyzing and brooding over problems you need to communicate them to your partner. The best way to communicate in my opinion is face to face because you can see and read their body language. Communicating over the phone or via text leaves too much room for silence and imaginary scenarios when they don’t answer right away. When talking to your partner maintain eye contact and stay calm especially if you are discussing a problem. A great benefit when you communicate you open the floor to deeper conversations which helps build trust.
Be committed and consistent
When you are with someone stay committed this means no cheating. If your going to cheat don’t be in a relationship because all that does is ruin your character. Having a partner who is constantly stressed out and worried that you are not being faithful leads to a lot of drama so if you’re in a relationship be in it 100%.
Building trust in a relationship isn’t about doing one random act of kindness. It’s about being consistent in what you do day in and day out. So, if that is a good morning text every morning make sure you stay committed to doing it. If you are going to make any relationship last for the long term you have to stay consistent in your actions and committed to your partner.
Spend quality time
We often get caught up in our day-to-day lives. Always busy running around trying to get everything done, but it is important to spend quality time with your partner. Have a movie night, go out to dinner, or just snuggle up in bed after a long day and just talk. Whatever works for you and your partner as long as you are spending time with each other.
Keep the promises you make
This is a big one for me personally. If you make a promise, you better keep it. There is nothing worse when someone says they are going to do something and don’t follow through. It doesn’t matter how big or small the promise is “say what you mean and do what you say”.
When you are don’t follow through that is like telling the other person you don’t care. Trust in a relationship develops when people give themselves the follow-through on a promise. It shows your partner they can depend on you which in turn builds trust.
Vulnerability leads to openness
Many people shy away from being vulnerable because it is scary as hell, but vulnerability leads to openness. This goes back to communicating just on a deeper level. You can start off small by sharing your dreams until you feel comfortable enough to get to your darkest secrets. It might not come easy it is a great way to connect with your partner.
Being able to share your hopes, dreams, fears, and moments with your partner build a bond and trust. It is not something that can be forced it has to be authentic in order to build lasting trust.
Listen to their needs
The biggest complaint I hear coming from people in relationships is “they don’t listen to my needs”. First of all, let me be very clear if you want your partner to listen to your needs you first need to say them clearly. Don’t beat around the bush if you want something from your partner say it. They do not mind readers and no one likes to waste time reading between the lines.
When you listen to each other’s needs and actually take action it lets your partner know that they are important to you. Your partner wants to know that they are being heard so listen thoughtfully and show that you care. When you consistently listen and understand each other’s needs you build trust.
Take responsibility for your actions
Buckle up buttercup it’s about to get real. At some point someone is bound to make a mistake or drop the ball after all we are only human. You need to know that even though you mess up you can still build trust. All you have to do is own it. Acknowledge your shortcomings and show you can take responsibility for your actions.
It doesn’t have to be a monumental mess up it can be a small one like forgetting to pick up something for dinner. Instead of blaming them for not reminding you all you have to do is say “Whoops that was totally on me”. You know what you are doing you are showing that you are mature enough to take responsibility and that builds or can even rebuild trust.
Give them the benefit of the doubt
One of the most destructive things to a relationship is doubt. You need to give your partner the benefit of the doubt even when you have no proof. You have to have faith in the person you love and in turn, they will value that faith in them. When you give your partner the benefit of the doubt and you believe them it makes you more secure in the relationship. It also helps them feel more secure with you and helps them open up to you because they know you got their back.
Anyone can be in a relationship, but to be in a lasting relationship you have to build trust. There are many ways to build trust, but these are definitely the top 10 ways that will help build the foundation of any relationship.
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If you are looking for ideas on some trust building exercises you can do with your partner check out 7 Trust-Building Exercises Couples Counselors Swear By on bustle.com